The New Year

Yes. Finally a new year has arrived. A year of change, a year of possibilities, a year of ... Oh fuck it, who am I kidding? It's just yet another year.

Why is it that we people never live up to our expectations for the new year? Because we don't change just because the number on our newly bought calendar is slightly higher than last year.

It's superstituous to believe otherwise. Which makes me just that. But I'm okay with it. I accept it as one of my many human flaws.

I accept that I, for whatever reason, think that it's crucial for changing myself that I choose a symmetrical date for doing so - and what date is better than the big ol' 01/01?

And I also accept that I chose to slack the year away hoping I would somehow automatically shift gear from -5 to +30 as soon as everybody jumped down from their chairs, kissed each other and spilled champagne all over the floor because the hands on everyone's watches (assuming they were in sync) switched from 11:59 to 12:00.

This all might come out pessimistic; but it's actually not meant that way. Usually I can't stand Dr. Phil and his "Messenger sent by God" complex (and yet I have, yes, watched enough of his show to quote him), however, he is spot on when he says: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."

So, as my first blog on this site, I'll tell you what I acknowledge:

Life is a god damned bloody struggle

(imagine me saying that in a British accent for emphasis)

And I don't care that I'm not a boney child dying in agony in the midst of Africa - I struggle too. So do you, you and you! I often hear people saying that I lack of perspective when I say that I find life hard, but I actually believe I have the perfectly right perspective.

I put myself in the center of my world. Egoistic? Fuck yeah. Realistic? Fuck yeah! Who else is better to focus on in this world than yourself? Obviously if it makes you feel better to help others, like the previously mentioned African kids, go ahead. But that is not what my life will be about. I do enjoy taking care of others, but how will I do that without focusing on my needs too? If I'm a bloody mess how on earth would I ever be capable of taking care of anyone else?

If those logics (that I lack perspective, red.) applied the insane asylums might as well open their doors and let their patients roam free. Let me elaborate: Why are people in those places? To get better and to ensure that they won't harm themselves - or others! Exactly!

So put yourself in a mental home for a while. Not necessarily a real one (depending on your mental status of course), but focus on yourself. Ask yourself what YOU need and tell yourself that it's okay to do so. And if it's too hard for you to do that then remember; it's for the "greater good".

So, to endulge a bit in my human flaws my New Year's resolution will be: To be the most egoistic son... err, daughter of a bitch (sorry mom - I love you really) that the world's ever seen! And when I'm done with that, maybe I'll be able to give you a hand.